a pleasant surprise.

December 7, 2012

So, Mr. Mostafa and I have been baby shopping a little bit, just trying to get ease ourselves into the onslaught of baby items that will inevitably make their way into our home.

Having a baby is exciting, but intimidating. Car seats and strollers are two especially baffling things. We went to Mothercare in the Granada Mall and after looking at all the different types of strollers (and how much they cost) I just wanted to go home and take a nap.

However, we did come home with one exceptionally awesome baby item, scouted at H&M. We discovered it post-stroller shopping, and thus we were both exceptionally cranky when we stumbled across it.

But this made it better.

Yes, it’s an Elvis onesie. We are a house of serious Elvis fans. Are we nerds? Yes! Do we care? No!

But in any case, after the stroller shopping debacle, I found myself studiously observing anyone with a stroller. Brand? Type? Wheels? Handles? It felt like I was doing some sort of sociological experiment.

The next day, Saleh and I decided to head to Piatto for lunch (I love love love their pizza). While we were sitting and waiting for a table, I watched a family with two small daughters who were also sitting near us–or, rather, I watched their stroller. I leaned over to Saleh and said, “See, now whenever I see a family with a stroller, I study them.”

He laughed, and the blonde lady sitting next to me, whom I hadn’t really paid much attention to, leaned over to me and said in a British accent, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but are you expecting?”

I admit I was a little shocked that she was speaking to me. I’ve written at length in a previous post about my experiences thus far with expats who are not married to Saudis, and quite frankly, they haven’t been encouraging. But here was a British expat actually talking to me! Without me speaking to her first! And not speaking to me like I had egg all over my face!

I answered, “Yes.”

She then proceeded chat with me! Even though my head was covered and I was obviously with a Saudi! She gave me all kinds of wonderful advice on buying a stroller, especially in Saudi Arabia (don’t get one with tiny wheels; they will just tip over.  And don’t get one with wheels that have the front wheels very far from the back wheels; they’re a nightmare to maneuver). We chatted about about a thousand things, including car seats (her advice: despite what the instruction booklet might say, everything on a car seat is washable, as long as you can remember how to reassemble the thing after you run all the cloth parts through the washing machine), about all the different accessories that are available for strollers (she explained to me what a “carrycot” is–I’d never heard of this thing before I came here, and I’d never seen one in the States), baby feeding (“It’s good to try to breastfeeed; we all know that’s the best. But here are millions of kids raised on formula; they’re fine and they’re still runnin’ ’round. If you can’t breastfeed, don’t beat yourself up about it”), the differences between having a baby in the American healthcare system and the British National Health Service (apparently, after you have a baby in Britain, the midwife comes by your house to visit and check up on you and the baby), and that antibiotic eye ointment that all American newborns–and apparently, Saudi newborns–get just after birth, regardless of whether or not they actually need it (her: “Be careful, because they put that eye stuff on the babies here and they won’t tell you about it.” Me: “They do that in the States, too.” Her: “Why? So unnecessary!”).

I’m learning a lot of British baby lingo (for example, what we Americans call a “crib” is called a “cot” in the UK and Australia) because it seems like the English used for baby things here is mostly British. It helped to have this conversation, because I felt like I wasn’t quite catching on to baby things here like I should have been.

But mostly, it helped to have this conversation with someone who knew what it was like to be a Western parent in Saudi Arabia. Our experiences as parents in this country will probably be pretty dramatically different (she’s married to a fellow Brit, I’m married to a Saudi), but still, it was wonderful to get her perspective on things, and honestly, it was wonderful just to have a chat with a random someone who has wisdom to share. That doesn’t happen often here; not only are Western expats often hesitant to interact with me or my husband (the day before Thanksgiving, I sent Saleh to Tamimi to bring home some last-minute ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner, and he came home with this story. An American man shopping there was trying to find something. Saleh tried to help; the man tried to ignore him. Saleh said, “Happy Thanksgiving!” The man looked at him like he was a worm. Saleh was pretty shocked by that treatment; despite what I’d been telling him, he didn’t really believe me about expat rudeness until that happened to him), people mostly keep to their own groups here, especially in public places. (I’ve never seen two Saudi families chatting it up while waiting for a table.) Having that conversation, it felt like a bit of my American-ness burst out, a bit of American-ness that I wasn’t even really aware that I was stifling.

It was great, and I was really cheerful for the rest of the night because of that conversation. Sometimes, it’s the little things.


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  • Umm Timo

    I’ve given up baby and toddler shopping in the Middle East. I just buy in bulk when in America. I get stuff for 2-3 yr ahead because it is double the price here. Your best bet is to go to Kohls, Old Navy, Carters or Osh Kosh B’gosh in the US. I always find 20% discount coupons online and print them out. As far as the car seats go, make sure you get one that has an easy to remove lining (where you can just pull it off) vs one that you have to unsnap the 5 point harness and remove all the restrains and then the lining comes off. Have I lost you yet?

    • http://www.thesamerainbowsend.com nicole j. hunter mostafa

      I managed to stay with you! :) Thanks a bunch for the advice…I always wish Saudi Arabia had things like yard sales and Goodwill. I know I’d be a very skilled bargain shopper for the baby if I were at home! :)

  • Mardi

    LMAO i thought your elvis onesie at first looked like a backpacker hiking up a hill … took me a while to see it was actually elvis 😀

    • http://www.thesamerainbowsend.com nicole j. hunter mostafa

      What did you think the guitar was, Mardi? LOL!

  • j

    hi, im a silent reader. i just wanted to say some tips for the newborn. your breast milk is also an antibiotic. if the baby has some red eye or gunk in it. spray breast milk on the eye. and anything else. also, tell your mom to get you some monostat 7. this is for the vaginal yeast infection for women. this is if your baby has a diaper rash that wont go away. most likely it is a yeast rash. you are in the heat, so might happen. both my kids had it, at different ages.. two and eight months. the two year old suffered for days until it went away on its own, and the eight month old didnt suffer, because i had a friend with great advice for me. also, during the time my kids were young, there wasnt any desitin ointment in saudi, so i brought it with me. i wasnt concerned about the powder, but made sure i had the desitin cream for the rashes.

    • http://www.thesamerainbowsend.com nicole j. hunter mostafa

      Great advice! Thank you! :)

  • H G

    Salam Nicole, another silent reader with some tips 😀 I’m a first time mum, also married to a Saudi, we just had our first not long ago. I have been doing something called Elimination Communication with our daughter. It’s basically taking the baby to the potty rather than letting baby do their business in their diaper. This doesn’t mean you don’t use diapers, you use them as a tool just in case you miss baby’s signals for the toilet, so that way it doesn’t end up on the floor or on you. But baby does signal, just like it signals when it’s hungry (sticking its tongue out) and when it’s tired (yawning), well when they want to go to the toilet they start grunting, shifting their legs etc. Unfortunately these days, since the advent of diapers, and especially disposables, the practice of taking our babies to the toilet has died out, and you only mostly see it in tribal communities, or non-western countries. Diapers are basically a convenience for parents, so they don’t have to get up and take their bubs to the toilet. But imagine how inconvenient it is for the baby. I wouldn’t like to soil myself or sit in my own poop, I don’t think any one would. And it’s odd that we train our babies to go in their pants, only to then UN-train them from this at the age of 2 or 3. Anywho, sorry for the looong comment, just my tip for you :) If you want to learn more you should check out this lady’s website ECSimplified.com and there are others like diaperfreebaby.org. It pretty much prevents diaper rash altogether, as “j” stated above, is a pretty common thing for babies these days.

    • http://www.thesamerainbowsend.com nicole j. hunter mostafa

      thank you very much for your comment! i have read a little bit about ec, and i’m trying to work up the bravery to give it a try. 😉 i think i might look into it a little more before baby arrives.

  • H G

    Hmm I was writing a comment just now but something strange happened – I think I may have posted it without finishing. Anyhow just wanted to say that yes it’s a little intimidating at first – I was really nervous & skeptical to try it out. But she has caught on sooo fast to it and it feels so normal now. Anyway, I hope everything goes smoothly and wonderfully for you inshaAllah, and that motherhood brings you much delight and happiness :)